I feel as though it’s nice and simple to just blow some feelings on tumblr.. I’m just in that mood where I think “why is life so hard?” I’m in my second semester of my second year in college and this semester is harder than ever. It’s always on my mind how stressed and aggravated I am. The life of a college student is fun and all, but it’s so time consuming… Difficulty wise.. The harder I try, the worse I seem to do. It’s so upsetting because I KNOW I’m smart.
While this is on my mind, life is hard, emotionally as well. I think back every day to a decision I made that I wish I hadn’t. It’s now too late to get him back. I had three years to make my choice, but continuously said no. Now every guy I come in contact with that could make me absolutely happy with life, I run the other way. I’m afraid to be happy with someone else. On the other hand if the guy is a “douche” I keep pursuing. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I guess I do this because I know I’m playing it safe knowing, I won’t be able to be with them. I wish I could listen to Andrew McMahon’s (Lead singer of Something Corporate) advice “I can still be ruthless, if you let me.” Just let me Pursue the good in life and leave the bad behind me, like it’s no big deal.